Monday, June 27, 2011

5 weeks...

Well... 5 weeks down... 35 to go.  Feels like an eternity already!  Everyday I wake up and hope that everything is still going ok!.  I keep telling myself, if I feel sick, I know things are headed in the right direction.  I feel very tired, exhausted, and the side effects from the prometrium are kicking my butt, but I hope that that means things are going well!!

In the last week, Shelby has asked if I have a baby in my tummy again yet.  I told her we have to wait and see.  This is, absolutely, the HARDEST secret to keep!!  Especially from a girl, that wants another sibling(preferably a boy...lol), and knows her momma has suffered losses in the past.

The secret remains...

Monday, June 20, 2011

4 weeks...

I woke up... with my phone under my pillow, anxiously awaiting my phone to ring. Waiting for the midwives clinic to call me with the results of my blood work. That was a looooong weekend! The blood work was drawn on Friday, June 17th. I was 11 days past ovulation(dpo) at that point. I called them at 11:45 am, before they went to lunch, my results weren't in yet. I called at 1:30 pm, they still weren't in yet. Finally, 2:30 pm, the phone rings. It says private number, I knew it was them! I was excited, but also scared, to answer the phone. I answered, of course. My results were back. My hcg level was 23. My midwife was happy with that level, as the level was 0 just a few days prior! Yay!!! If she was happy, I could be happy, even if I was still reserved. Now I knew, I just had to wait....

Friday, June 17, 2011

Excited... Nervous... Scared...

I had been told on Monday, June 13th, that we had not conceived this month.  I was getting blood work done to check my progesterone levels.  My hcg was 0, and my progesterone level was 8.1, too low to support a pregnancy.  However, my midwife told me to take a test on Friday morning, just in case a miracle was in store.  Friday morning, I woke up, got Shelby off to her last day of school, and debated.  I had about 15 pregnancy tests in my bathroom.  We like to call this a p.o.a.s.(pee on a stick) addict.  Ha!  Ha!  I decided I better take a test, since it was Friday, and I'd need blood work done IF it comes up positive.  So, I took a test... and within about 45 seconds, there were two lines!



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I was so excited, and so very scared at the same time!  I had suffered a miscarriage just 4.5 weeks prior.  I immediately called my midwife, but she didn't answer.  She says, "If I don't answer, send me a txt!"  So I sent her a txt.  I called and told Hubby, he was excited, but also nervous.

Shakyra and I went to Shelby's school to spend the last couple of hours of 2nd grade with her.  Deep inside, all I could think about was the fact that I was going to give the girls a sibling.  However, to protect their hearts, I knew, I had to keep this a secret until I was further along.    My midwife called while I was attending Shelby's assembly.  Have you ever tried talking on a phone, with 500 kids singing silly songs in a gymnasium???  Yea, I didn't think so!  LOL  So I snuck into the bathroom to talk to her.  She couldn't believe I had a positive test after my blood work on Monday, but she said, congratulations!  Now go to the clinic and get blood work.  I will call and let them know you are coming in today!  She also started me on Prometrium, since my progesterone was low, and you need the progesterone to support a pregnancy!

I gave the baby the nickname Skittle... because any baby conceived/born after a loss is a "Rainbow baby."  So I just thought that it was cute, and fitting.  =)

I only told a few close friends and family... those that I knew would help me, just in case, this pregnancy, wasn't meant to be.  Little did I know...